Death Metal Scares Me
In the spirit of Halloween, I thought I would write about one of the many things that scare the crap out of me. I’m not talking about clowns, giant death hornets or that creepy guy who is way too eager to spot you doing pull ups in the gym . I’m talking about Death Metal. Enter Cory.
Cory, is a good friend of mine, but I have to say, my first impression of him made me more nervous than an Asian girl any girl at a LAN party. He was as staggering 10′8” mammoth of a man. He stormed into our office brandishing a hunting axe that even Gimli the dwarf king of Middle Earth couldn’t forge. “Cory want PHP Developer Job” he proclaimed as he demanded the job and threatened to burn our village down if we did not comply. After he got the job, he ripped the door off and snapped it in half as he asked “What time should I come into work on Monday?” to which I responded “Please just don’t kill me”.
That next Monday he introduced me to the “music” genre of Death Metal. Eager to appease the giant, I shared with him my love for such bands a Tool, NIN, and A Perfect Circle. “What are you some kinda nancy-boy?” asked Cory. We then listened to something what I can only describe as demons torturing demon cats while other demons murder zombie demons in the background… plus lots of technical drumming. Turns out we were listening to a band called “Cannibal Corpse” which made sense. It was very close to what I had imagined in my mind but instead, the zombie demons were eating the regular demons. At this point, my body kicked into survival mode as I slowly removed my Coldplay album from my desk and strategically placed it in the trash can.
Over the last year or so, I have gotten to know Cory fairly well, and all joking aside he is a good guy. We no longer work together but I try to keep in touch with him as much as possible. If going to see a band called “Amputation” at venue called “The Dungeon” sounds like a good time, then I urge you to check out FloridaDeathMetal.com, which is a site that Cory had put together in which he shares his passion. I commend him for that. I did however see a a Kenney Chesney album in his itunes. He will blame his wife but I know better.
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Weakling,
Do not make me kill you. You’ve begged for your life before, and I shall make you beg for it again!!!
Cory